The tears again

I am hurt... a lot, when I know it.
But what can I do?
It's not my destiny, its not my goal at this moment.

To be honest, I am truly hurt, I am very disappointed when I know the rumor.
And I cry a lot inside when found out that it is not just a rumor... It is gonna happen.
I cry, I cry a lot...
I'm still crying until now...

But someday I realize that it is not in my plan of life..
I am not ready yet to build a new life with high risk that my life will be ruin.
Let it be my "already grown up" decision.
Let it be my "mature enough" goal.
Let it be my "after graduation" dream.

InsyaAllah... :)